Last Chance to Be…

The word Akwaaba was pasted all over the welcome hall at the airport in Accra. I have heard it many times since. It means ‘Welcome’.

I shan’t go on too much about the flight, suffice to say planes not having a reverse gear and a tractor shortage at Heathrow was enough to keep us on the tarmac for three hours before taking off.

Twelve hours later we arrived. As the plane lowered in altitude the outside air temperature rose steadily and kept on rising all the way to 28 degrees. Not bad for 1am. I expected to walk out into an oven but that’s not really how it was at all. The air was thick and hot but smelled sweet, like grass. It felt like standing in a sauna, in the middle of a swamp. The air is thick and wet and you can feel the moisture filling your lungs. It wasn’t altogether unpleasant.

In my smiley way I then proceeded to grin at everybody through check-in and was pleasantly surprised to be greeted back. I get the distinct feeling I am going to like it here.

It was not all roses, as arriving in Africa for the first time can be a daunting experience for the uninitiated. We were met by the VSO driver and followed through the car park by various men in uniforms with batons. ‘Police Escort’ I thought. Handy. It has since transpired here that lots of people here wear uniforms and carry sticks and few of them are Policeman. I should have worked it out sooner as the first one I met said ‘Euro? Dollar?’, while using the internationally recognised finger and thumb rubbing sign.

‘Get in the car,’ said our driver, firmly, so I did and rightly or wrongly, felt a little scared. The nerves continued until I was shown to my hotel room to be greeted by a flooded bathroom. I went to bed, exhausted but anxious and spent about two hours looking at the ceiling before trying to go to sleep. I think I was waiting for a giant cockroach to appear, but it never did.

A few hours later, around 5am, I was woken to something which sounded like a spitfire coming in to attack….my head. Neeeeeoooooowowwww right up to my ear. The loudest and most aggressive sounding mosquito ever just dive bombed me! ‘Welcome to Ghana, welcome to Africa, welcome to two years of this’, I thought to myself. Akwaaba indeed.

How wrong I was, for, after scaring me, it decided it didn’t like my flavour and went away never to be seen again. I have seen a few killer ants and some really funky lizards, but a whole day in and no creepy crawlies, yet anyway.

I woke up cold! My room is shabby with no mosquito net and ropey air con which decided to work to 5.30am. I turned it off, had a shower and got dressed (and got a free ‘foot bath’ at the same time) and by 7.30 am was a hot sweaty mess! Winner.

So anyway, I looked upon the rest of the day with varying degrees of scaredness only to have had a totally amazing day.

We went to the VSO office and everybody was just so unbelievably cool. How do you describe people who are so warm and friendly? It was like turning up to a new job and feeling welcome straight away. I felt at home. It seems wrong to describe somebody as ‘friendly, literate, thoughtful, intelligent, warm or articulate’ in a surprised way. I mean, why shouldn’t they be? Anyway, I guess it was less surprise and just relief that I wasn’t given a frosty reception.

Accra is not at all how I expected it. I expected a more modern city with perhaps rougher edges than your average capital. It’s not like that at all. It is all mingled into one. For example there is the poshest looking Bang and Olufsen shop I have ever seen, with goats outside. Goats just tend to stand around on street corners here. They don’t look too happy if I am honest. I wonder if goat happiness will become an issue here.

I’m not really doing this any justice at all, but I have only 15 minutes to write this entry. I don’t know when I might get to use the net again so I’m just getting stuff down in the order that it comes out. Also, I’m trying to describe this City fairly and so far, I haven’t left the confines of the VSO Jeep, the hotel or the VSO office.

We were driving down Oxford Street this afternoon, one of the main roads in Accra and I felt like I was making friends as we went. It’s as if everybody acknowledges everybody here. In my village at home when I walk to the shop and I pass a fellow villager, you are sometimes lucky to get a grunt when you say hello. Here, in one of the busiest streets in the biggest town of a country of 20 million people, you could stop and chat to everybody if you wanted to. I love smiling at the street vendors as we drive past – they always reciprocate. When I get a chance, I will go and speak to some of them in person but for now time is limited and I am only here for a few days before I head off to the sticks.

I received an email from a journalist here – Karen Palmer, who told me that if I think it’s hot and humid here, I will be in for a surprise when I get to the Volta Region. This place is like a fridge in comparison. Joy.

Strange how things change though. This morning I felt like I would never acclimatise. By the end of today, I feel like I might just make it. We’ll see.

I didn’t get a chance to be my usual ‘Douglas Adams’ funny in that lot but just wanted to let my folks know I am alright and the email I was able to send was rather brief. One for the nerds here, but the webcafe here is like running some sort of keylogger gauntlet. I have a cunning strategy whereby I type a load of random gibberish in amongst changing focus of the mouse. I read somewhere that it works.

Talking of Douglas Adams, those of you with the privilege to have read the book after which this website take it’s name, will be pleased to know the same cockerels on Galapagos who don’t know how to tell the time, also live in Accra. For the uninitiated they crow all night, clearly confused about when sunrise actually is. Just when you’re finally getting to sleep, they get it right.

I haven’t had a chance to take any pictures yet. I will do though – this place is a photographer’s heaven. Big fat green lizards with red heads, crazy street scenes and beautiful women everywhere. I don’t mean that in a sexual way. The women here glide down the street with such grace. I thought the carrying things on the head thing was a myth, or restricted to the rural areas but it’s not the case at all. Everywhere in Accra you see women with lots of items precariously balanced on their heads. They were stunning bright clothes and really drift along. Their bodies move but their heads stay so still. I could watch them all day long. If you are a Ghanaian lady reading this, I hope that doesn’t offend, I just think you all look beautiful – in the same way art does.

That’s all for now. I hope things continue the way they are going at the moment. I didn’t get time to tell you about the ‘Star Trek Parallel’, but that’s for another time. Suffice to say, I was served coffee by Ensign Harry Kim.

EDIT – after an unsuccessful trip to the Keyloggers’R’Us tonight, (Monday 27th Nov 06) I will try again tomorrow to update my site. Hope everything is really cold and miserable in England.

I decided to write a quick list of things I might miss instead.
The Internet

1) Email
2) Downloading Stuff
3) Surfing
4) Chatting
5) Playing Games

Battlestar Galactica Season 3
Several Coffees Every Morning
Chocolate (especially flapjack and muffins)
Stargate Atlantis Season 2
Lying Around on Sofas
Driving a Car
Prison Break Season 2
Several Cups of Tea a day
Lost Season 3
Watching TV

I have a new Sponsor Programme where you sponsor me for any of the above. A good friend has already shotgunned BSG. Any offers? I realise some may be a bit tricky but that’s what friends are for right?

A few more thoughts for the night.

David Guest will win I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here.
Understanding Football Scores in Twii is really difficult.

Tuesday 28th Nov

 Another day, another go defating the web cafer at its own game. I think this time I cracked it. I am about to press submit on this post and have 16 minutes left on the clock. I should press submit soon.

Today I met a Doctor who told me to be aware of all sorts of things, including women who will chase me down the street wanting to get married. Mind you she also told me that ‘homos’ were ‘introduced’ into Ghana so a pinch of salt required.