Last Chance to Be…

MONDAY 18TH DECEMBER 2006

I lost track of when my last entry was or what was in it.

To recap…..

I have a new phone number, which is as bad as the old one. I still have to climb a tree to send and receive calls. Text messages are still unreliable. The number is 024 9115816. From the UK I think you dial 00 233 24 911 5816. Receiving text messages is fine, but there is no guarantee you will receive a reply, although I think it’s better than it was.

Receiving messages is always a pleasure so feel free

Rumour has it there is a new mobile phone mast in the village but it won’t be turned on until January. We live in hope. I say we, I think it’s just me. There are still Internet possibilities floating about but I have no idea how long this might take to get implemented.

The other day I was given a bicycle. Theoretically this should make the journey down the mud road a bit easier, however, it has a puncture. Ghana does not have puncture repair kits. I am working on it.

I might take this moment to explain what ‘Chewing Gum for Change’, the
title of my previous post, is supposed to mean….

Because of the ridiculous money situation here, people generally can’t be bothered faffing around so much with change so they offer you something else instead. More often than not this comes in the form of chewing gum or ‘PKs’, as they are known here. I like this as it saves the effort of having to buy chewing gum on a regular basis. Having said this, if you don’t like PKs, I imagine it’s a pain.

As we all know, Ray Mears is a legend. If anybody would like to buy me a Ray Mears book and send it out if would be appreciated, if only for the section on tying knots. I am, seemingly, the only person here who uses a washing line. Most people just leave their stuff lying around on the grass.

My washing line is made of Para cord tied between two trees. This is a temporary arrangement as I am afraid of somebody garrotting themselves against the line. Normally I wouldn’t be so worried about this but because of all the clothes lying around on the floor I am worried somebody will do themselves an injury while staring at the ground, avoiding all the clothes lying around. For this reason I remove the line when it’s not in use. I recall Ray uses a quick release knot perfect for the job. Despite watching endless repeats on UKTV Gold, I can’t quite remember it.

POSTAL SERVICE UPDATE.

My test parcels have not arrived. I have managed to talk with other VSOs, some of whom have problems and some of whom don’t. I have also discovered that the Post Office I used in the UK didn’t really know what buttons to push on the machine so
airmail should not have been so expensive and should only take a week. So, if you want to send me stuff here is the low down:

1. Use recorded if you can. The parcel will be sealed and there is a paper trail (however useless this might be, it might be enough to prevent theft).

2. List the contents of the parcel (omitting anything valuable) on the outside. This will put somebody off opening it and nicking stuff as they tend to pilfer one or two things. If they are listed, this becomes awkward.

3. The name of the school is the St Theresa Centre for the Handicapped. This name is outmoded and not politically correct in the UK, however, if written in full on the package, may discourage theft or the need for customs bribery to retrieve my package.

4. Ghana is so incredibly religious that a picture of Jesus or a religious slogan (e.g. GOD SEES EVERYTHING or JESUS LOVES YOU etc) might be enough to deter theft.

5. The only thing scarier than God is Juju Power (sic). This is (very roughly) a belief held by traditional religion that some all-seeing power called Juju is responsible for anything bad in the world. Some people see Disability as Juju. Anyway from what I have gathered, red is the colour of Juju, so if you want to experiment with wrapping stuff with red ribbons, fill your boots :p.

For maximum effect therefore, use this address,

Jonathan Barratt
VSO Volunteer
St Theresa Centre for the Handicapped
PO BOX 37
ABOR
VOLTA REGION
GHANA

The test parcels I sent apparently take eight weeks because I sent them by land. I think this was a mistake by the Post Office as we should have been able to find a more cost affective airmail option as most other Volunteers have received post (albeit having to pay the occasional bribe to get it).

If I had a Tesco Metro at the end of the road, these are the things I would buy.

Cotton Buds
Dental Floss
Toothpaste with FLOURIDE
Instant Coffee without CHICORY
Filter Coffee
Tea with TEA in it
Biscuits – all types
DVDs
Milk!
CHOCOLATE! (I am still agog and agape that chocolate is so difficult to find here given that the number 1 export from Ghana is cocoa)
Soap without ACID in it
Everything else probably

If you really want to send me something valuable send it to

Jonathan Barratt

Voluntary Service Overseas

PO BOX AN6526, Accra North, Ghana, West Africa and I will pick it up eventually. This is VSO HQ.

DISABILITY SECTOR MEETING

On Wednesday 13th December I went to Accra to meet up with VSO and have a meeting with the disability sector. We went to a hotel near Akosombo. On the way we stopped at a petrol station for a drink. The station was an anachronous place, just like a Tesco Metro in Britain. Most people bought ice creams. I just stood and drooled, cursing that we didn’t have more time as it was the best shop I had been in since I got here. I could have done a monthly shop there. Most vols live in towns, few are as isolated as me so I don’t think they saw the beauty of the place.

My hotel room opened out straight onto the African plains, overlooking a large mountainous rupture. You would be forgiven for thinking Ghana lies on a fault line, but I have been promised it doesn’t. Perhaps these are very old mountains. They rise out of the flat plains so dramatically you could imagine a huge earthquake caused them quite recently.

I took a picture of a Harmattan Sunset as I arrived, with the mountains in the background. It was breathtaking and I am beginning to see some real beauty here. The Harmattan is a warm wind from the Sahara which brings with it lots of sand.
During the Harmattan season there is a layer of sand in the air so thick that the sun sets behind it, before it reaches the horizon. So if I managed to get to a cafe with more than a tin can and piece of string for its Internet access, then you should be able to see it for yourself.

The meeting was ok. I say ok, the hotel was great and food outrageously good and meeting other VSOs was great. The actual meeting was more useful to the other vols. They have serious issues, problems and hurdles to deal with on a daily basis. Although I haven’t actually started yet, I am beginning to realise, I have things easy.

My job will be more demanding in terms of workload and hours but that’s one of the good things about it. Most other VSOs spend a large part of the time working out how to be effective, how to make positive changes, how to make a difference. That is tough for them. Mine is all worked out for me, all I have to do is be a good teacher.

After meeting the other Vols and stuffing my face with food I went off with two of the Vols to Ho, my nearest big town and a bit closer than Accra. On the way I saw why the Volta has such a reputation of beauty, with mountains like the ones at
Akosombo, except that the slopes are covered in rain forests. Awesome.

I didn’t see too much of Ho, just a bit of the market but I was able to eat more ice cream and all sorts of FOOD. Wow food is such an issue for me and not for anybody else. They laugh when I drool at simple things, like coffee. I have coffee here but
it’s flavoured with Chicory and ropey as hell. Filter coffee was enough to make me want to do something I can’t type because my mum reads this.

THE JOURNEY HOME. SATURDAY 16TH DECEMBER 2006

So I took a long journey home by tro tro alone and it was pretty cool with no upsets just several people wanting to be my best friend and visit me. I really hope one of them doesn’t turn up and expect me to entertain them. Don’t get me wrong Ghanaians are, on the whole, decent people but my small home is kinda private. To have some guy who I met on the bus just turn up and visit will freak me out. I have yet to play this particular culture clash very well. I shall have to work on it.
The other night two students came to visit me and I just stood and talked to them at the door. I think they were expecting to come in and I probably deeply offended them by not letting them in. hmmmpf.

When I got back the school was empty as everyone was gone home. I remembered I had to do something about the GAP as all the snakes move back in now there is very little noise here. Eventually I came up with an ingenious device made from the folder VSO gave me at the meeting I had just returned from. I cut out long strips of plastic and made notches in it. I then placed it over the gap and put drawing pins where the notches are. As the door opens (due to the uneven floor my device had to compensate for the undulations) the strips of plastic rise and fall and the drawing pins hold the cunning thing in place. Mr Mears himself would be proud.

Even more good news is that after snake proofing my place, I found a Gecko had moved in. Due to the snake proofing, he now can’t escape! Winner. I quickly named him Marcus and took a photo. I should add that taking a photo of a gecko is very hard
without a huge telephoto lens as they are really scared of people. This explains the blur. He mainly hangs out behind the wardrobe. I imagine he comes out when I am not here or in bed and eats cockroaches.

I am doing well on the dealing with insects front, my biggest fear before coming here. I am still, however, rather worried about the inevitable night when a huge cockroach wakes me up by crawling across my face. This is Africa, it’s going to happen. Marcus may help delay it but it will happen. I have had three cockroaches so far, all tiny ones and one of them was dead. The other two came out of the plughole while I was having a shower and subsequently drowned. I guess they are breaking me in gently or maybe the frogs have been eating them and the ‘Snakebuster’ will prove to be my downfall. Who knows.

I have serious amounts of work to do now, lesson plans for what will be a very full timetable, so maybe will spend less time doing this diary. I am not sure. Perhaps I will update as frequently but perhaps not so hugely. Time will tell.

As I type this there is something running down my spine. I am quite calmly deciding whether it is a bead of sweat (common) or something more sinister (also common). I decide it is the former and chose to ignore it, as this is the easiest option.

Welcome to Ghana or, as the Ewe put it, ‘Woezor!’

(PS I might add that the formal reply to ‘Woezor’ is ‘Yooooo!’)

WEDNESDAY 20TH DECEMBER 2006

Now that I have access to the syllabus I have been busy planning my lessons for the last few days. Ironically we have had several power cuts or ‘Lights offs’ and I have yet to devise an affective method of working without my laptop.

The monotony was broken today as my bicycle is now fixed. At 6.30 am I rode into Abor. This sounds crazy but most people get up around 5-6am here. This is because it gets dark at 6pm and there is limited power, so daylight is valued. 6.30am is also a good time to ride into town (people say town but it’s really a village), as it’s less than 30 degrees, just about.

I made the journey in 5 minutes. Having transport makes all the difference. It’s a really easy cycle too. Instead of being a Javu I am now Javu on a bicycle, the source of much hilarity. Some really young kids ran after me shouting Javu at one point. Kids here always make me smile.

Instead of losing 3 litres of water on the trip to town, I only lost one or two, and I saved an hour of making best friends.

I have an offer to go to the beach for Xmas, Cape Coast to be precise. I haven’t quite decided what to do yet.

DAY AND NIGHT

I have begun to realise that there is a distinct difference to how I feel during the day and the night here.

During the daytime I have to deal with the heat, but it’s also sunny all day long, which can only be good for the soul. The occasional breeze cheers me up, as do all the smiling faces you see in Ghana. Dehydration is a problem as, if you make any effort at all, you lose litres of water.

Nighttime has one major benefit of being cooler (albeit only one or two degrees). It has several disadvantages, the main one being the wildlife. Snakes, frogs, mosquitoes and a plethora of other creepy crawlies come out at night. (Frogs are not inherently scary but they are, of course, snake food). During lights out, the night is also painfully hot and, when there is no moon, scary as hell.

So far anyway, I prefer the daytime. I have developed a technique of doing things in slow motion, which helps me keep cool. Anyone who has ever seen me play football will understand how easy I find this. When I talk to people about my acclimatisation they are generally impressed with how I deal with the heat and markedly nonplussed by the way I whine about insects.

The other night at dinner, for example, I pointed out that a small family of crawling things had moved into the sugar bowl. I found this amusing and disturbing. Everybody else seemed to find it banal.

Somebody else explained to me that seeing your first really scary spitting cobra was a bit like driving down the motorway and seeing an horrendous car crash in the UK. You’re scared for a bit, slow down for a while, and then forget all about it.

One good thing that is happening at the moment is sugar, salt and carbohydrate. In the UK I spent a good deal of time avoiding all three. In Ghana it’s quite hard to eat enough calories so you have to pile in the carbs. You also have to cover it in salt in order to replenish what you lose through sweating. Bonus. I would be extra happy about all this if I didn’t have to also replace sugar. I haven’t actually found any sugar to buy yet so I am having to use the bowl in the main house - which I share with some insects. Luckily they have small appetites.

KITTEN KILLERS!

I have a friend who killed some kittens once. He didn’t mean to, so he tells me. I enjoy pointing out to him that he has more in common with Sid Vicious than me for that very reason.

I like cats. When I got to the school I found they have lots of kittens about the place. They are incredibly cute. I haven’t made friends with any for fear (irrational or not) of catching rabies. It turns out that that this is a good thing, as the Ewe people like to eat them. I think they wait until they are fully grown until they kill them and eat them, unlike my impatient friend who kills them before they have had a chance in life.

I spoke to somebody who had eaten cat and he said it was really nice to eat but he couldn’t quite explain what it tasted like.

I am almost a vegetarian at the moment but today I ate cow liver. I believe in England we only eat pig liver? Who knows? I haven’t quite managed a chicken’s foot yet but am building up to it. I am promised that the meat is a bit chewy but the taste is divine. The same applies for chicken stomach, which I haven’t ventured into yet. I eat the same food every day here - here is my daily diet.

BREAKFAST

Cake Bread (from the village) and Honey from the school
Instant Coffee with Chicory Flavouring and milk powder (NESCAFE MY ARSE! Wonder why this translates as NO COFFEE in Spanish)
I like to top this up with biscuits if I can.

LUNCH

Plain Rice or Pasta (sometimes I get a spicy tomato sauce with this). Believe it or not we also sometimes get freshly grated real Parmesan cheese!

Then either

Boiled Yams
Yam Chips
or
Sweet Potato Chips

Some days there is some meat with this but sometimes I don’t fancy it. This could be fried beef, boiled or fried chicken, or fried liver.

Dessert is my absolute favourite as we have pineapples mangos and oranges.

Dinner

Soup (This is a traditional Ghanaian soup but I forgot the name - it’s tomatoish with rice in it)

Followed by Tuna or Egg Salad with the following
Some green stuff, which tastes a bit like spinach/lettuce
Raw Cabbage
Cucumber
Sometimes Fried Aubergine
Red Onions

Dessert

More Pineapple, Oranges, Mangos and Paw Paws

There is not much variation on that. Sometimes we have a special occasion and there is cake or biscuits.

If it weren’t for the dessert, which is just insanely good, I would have gone nuts by now. The only thing better than fresh mangos, pineapples, paw paws, water melon and oranges straight from the trees, is a fruit salad it’s worth it just for the juice.

Thursday 21st December 2006
ANTS

Being on the equator has one huge impact on the environment, life. Life exists everywhere here. Every nook and cranny has something living in it. There are beautiful and varied butterflies everywhere, goats, cats, pigs, chickens, wild fowl, spiders, snakes, birds, insects and a whole lot more.

Some of the creatures here I had never seen in the flesh, such as the vultures, which circle overhead almost all of the time. This is a bird watchers paradise. There is a huge lagoon nearby which is a host to some of the world’s most important species. Just now on my walk around the campus I saw some kind of flightless bird running across the football pitch. Amazing.

The things you notice most of all though, are the ants. Ants inhabit the air here. Their environment is not a tree, or a hole in the ground or a 15 foot high termite mound (commonplace) they are just everywhere.

Yesterday I stood and stared at a tree for a few minutes. There was a colony of large red ants living on the outside of the trunk. The trunk itself was covered in sand. This sand is placed there by another species of ant who are sensitive to light and so cover everywhere they live in sand. The large red ants were feeding off them. As I stood watching some smaller red ants crawled onto my feet and persisted in biting my ankles.

I stood back and looked further up the tree to find some more types of ants who make their nests in the leaves of the tree. The tree itself was known as a custard apple tree. It has this amazingly tasty fruit, which tastes like custard and apple. Incredible. So anyway, another type of ant were ferrying some custard out of the tree, to their nest somewhere else. There was a huge long column of them going off into the distance with custard on their backs.

Further down the trunk a group of funky shaped larger dark ants were just passing through for no particular reason. They had worked out that falling has no particular impact on ants and so were able to jump from the wall to the tree and then just fall from the tree in order to save time on their journey.

Looking at the floor at the base of the tree there is another variety of ant, the big ones. By my standards they are big anyway, perhaps 1 to 1.5cm and fairly solitary creatures, thankfully. You see them now and then and for a reason I cannot quite fathom, I normally stand on them.

Walking back to my house, which is a room in a very long (perhaps 50m) building, I saw another common sight, the hardcore travelling ants. These guys have permanent highways. I have no idea what is at either end. I did think perhaps they were moving nest but this particular highway has been there since I arrived and also they travel both directions.

The procession starts by coming out of the floor, up a column and across a ceiling. From there it travels around head height for about 25 metres, using the tops of the windows as a guide. About 5 metres before reaching my front door, they take a perpendicular right angled turn back towards the column and disappear into the ceiling, thankfully. As I type this the occasional scout is crawling across my desk. I feel like an Indigenous American Indian seeing his first white man. Should I kill it? If I do will more come? Perhaps I could just ignore it and they will go away, or maybe I could hide my natural resources? At the moment I choose to squash them.

There is one last type of ant I have yet to mention, the soldier ant. Soldier ants are perhaps one of the scariest creatures in Africa and the biggest reason, after Malaria, we should be concerned about global warming. Solider ants are bigger than anything I have mentioned so far and they consume everything in their path. We don’t have any on the campus but we do have them on the farm. On the farm they walk around in huge long and wide columns, consuming everything in their path. They frequently eat chickens and other farm animals.

If you were in the path of a column of soldier ants and did not move out of the way they would eat you. This sounds absolutely insane and is absolutely true. They do not like noise or civilisation so won’t come near my house but if you live in a mud hut and a column of soldier ants comes to your village you have only two options - surround the house with paraffin or leave. There is a third option but not many people would choose to be eaten alive.

Getting drunk and falling asleep in the in street in Lewisham has serious consequences, but not as serious as in Sub Saharan Africa.

One of the greatest minds of the Twentieth Century, a mathematician and synaesthete called Richard Fenyman, began his life by studying ants in his bathroom. I wonder if it is too late for me.

FRIDAY DECEMBER 22ND 2006

I have decided to stay on campus for Xmas and get some more work done. I will save some money if I do so and also I have been invited to Christmas Lunch here. Among other things we are having duck and ice cream. Amazing how those two things alone were enough to keep me here. It’s also amazing how unprofitable my work time is being. I find it hard to get anything done, even without distractions.

This morning I saw my first giant cockroach, lying on its back, in my bathroom. When I sprayed it with some nasty chemicals it wiggled for a bit then died. I am unsure why it was there on its back or where it had come from. It was huge. Marcus would have had no chance eating it, as it was twice the size of his head. I haven’t seen him lately either, which is no surprise considering how scary the cockroaches are around here. I spoke to other people about them and they don’t seem to care. I hope I get used to them, somehow.

Tomorrow I am going to another town, Aflao, which is on the border with Togo and close to Lome, the capital. There should be more stuff to buy (I live in hope) and perhaps an Internet Café which has computers which work and Internet connection. You never know your luck.

This morning I found a lady selling chocolate in the town. As an added bonus it was Ghanaian chocolate which means it wouldn’t melt on the way home. Unfortunately it’s rank. Not only is it very bitter but also, like a lot of local produce, it does not taste as if it has been made in a clean environment. I do not know if this is true or just my taste buds adapting but overall, eating it was a sadly disappointing experience.

Oh, I also found out that the tiny things which live in your sugar bowl here, are also ants.

Happy Xmas etc

Jon