Last Chance to Be…

WEDNESDAY 3RD JANUARY 2007

TRAFFIC

The traffic to this website has doubled since I left. A week or so ago it made the list of the fastest growing web sites hosted by wordpress.com. Amazing huh? I must have written something vaguely amusing. However, just like Homer Simpson, my brain has some kind of storage limit and as I now have some work to do, there is not too much room for amusing stuff.

While the going is good…….

PICTURE IN YOUR HEAD AN EMPTY CARDBOARD BOX…..

….then you know exactly what our spare parts department looks like.

To celebrate my own popularity I am making my first appeal. The success of this one will determine whether I bother having another one. It is time for all the nerds reading this to do something, which involves going OUTSIDE! What I want you to do is this. Look around your skanky computer desk or box of bits and really look in it. Take out anything which is not too bulky, which you considered throwing away, but that meant standing up, but actually works, put it in a jiffy bag and send it to me.

Jonathan Barratt
VSO Volunteer
St Theresa Centre for the Handicapped
PO BOX 37
ABOR
VOLTA REGION
GHANA

The computer room here is amazing by Ghanaian standards. We have eleven computers - six Pentium 3s and 5 Pentium 1s. However, we have absolutely no spare parts at all. If a stick of RAM dies, for example, that computer is out of action until we can get to Accra and pay outrageous prices for really poor quality replacements - if it can be found at all.

So things which would be useful are, network cards, sound cards, graphics cards, RAM (PC100, PC133, SODIMM only - DDR hasn’t really reached the developing world yet), patch cables, blank DVDS/CDs, small network switches, USB Flash Drives or anything else small enough to post in working order. A CD/RW (the disk not the writer) would also be really handy. Cheers. If it fits in a small jiffy bag it will probably escape the attentions of customs. Please make sure whatever you send works. I would hate to bribe a customs official to get hold of an old sock. Also, DRIVERS for any hardware is kinda essential, as there is no Inet (yet).

Something else, which would really help me to actually do my job, would be one of those inkjet refill kits. You know the ones you get in PC World for £5? They are impossible to get here. The classroom has a printer but access to supplies is limited so I figure one of those refill kits would really help.

Cheers!

PS I should add that the classroom is not networked at all. This is a major problem for me, as I have to teach networking among other things. Also I want to do a network install of an Encyclopaedia program so the kids can teach themselves when I am not there. I am working on a project to network the entire classroom separately to the ‘G Geek Appeal’. If you are a wealthy philanthropist and you want to help with this please contact me separately by text 00 233 24 911 5816.

Alternatively, if everybody reading this sent me a wireless PCI card I could network the classroom in an afternoon. You can’t imagine the difference a simple network makes to a classroom environment.

HARMATTAN

The Harmattan has arrived in hardcore fashion. Going outside is like a polar expedition. It’s an icy cold 28 degrees outside and very windy, with half of the Sahara desert in the air. Going out results in chapped lips, dry skin and sand in places I didn’t know existed until I found sand in them.

For me it’s quite pleasant, in some ways anyway. For your average Ghanaian it’s a freezing cold inconvenience. I have seen several people wandering around with winter hats and ear muffs on.

The other good news about the Harmattan is it makes it too risky to set your fields on fire. Setting your fields on fire is almost a leisure activity here.

I was under the impression that burning your fields assists the sun in breaking down the soil and turning it into sand? Here it is used as an alternative method of sweeping up leaves. It is also a way to trap fleeing wild animals, such as rats, which can then be eaten.

(Given the choice I have yet to decide if I would rather eat a barbecued rat kebab or grilled pussycat. Fortunately, this is unlikely to be a decision I will have to make any time soon, although I have been invited to eat both.)

So as soon as the poor fields get a break from all the burning, the Sahara blows a load of sand all over them. I told one of the students here about desertification and he laughed at me like I was crazy.

‘Sahara desert getting bigger? Burning is bad? - heh crazy man.’ Pfft.

SATURDAY JANUARY 6TH 2007

FOOD

Ok next week I start cooking for myself so here is the tantalising menu I have created so far.

Breakfast

Coffee or tea

and

- Porridge followed by an orange -

Or

- Sugar Bread and Honey followed by an orange -

Lunch

- Sweet Potato and Mackerel -
- Sweet Potato and Egg -
- Pasta and Mackerel -
- Spicy Pasta (Pasta and Powdered Red Pepper)
- Rice and Mackerel -
- Spicy Rice and Beans -

That’s about all I can think of - if you have an exciting recipe for me please text 00 233 24 911 5816

The available food items are

Tinned Mackerel (swap with tuna or sardines with or without tomato sauce ad nauseum)
Rice
Sweet Potato
Powdered Red Pepper
Beans (white things with a black mark, about the size of a Birds Eye pea)
Garlic
Onions

The ARE other things I can buy here, I just have no clue what to do with them. Such as,

Okra
Peanuts
Flour
Mono Sodium Glutamate in fun sized packets
Corned Beef
Tomatoes
Really Skanky Looking fly ridden dried fish
Peanut Oil
Plantains
Yams
Cassava

SUNDAY 7th January 2007

THE THINGS I MISS

If I recall, way back when I made this site I made a list of things I would miss. There are three which I think about most of the time; the Internet; TV and Chocolate.
I have very slow unreliable access to the Internet about half an hour away. There is slightly better access about 90 mins away.

Ghanaian TV in the Volta region is one state run channel which isn’t very good. Also, I don’t have a TV or a six foot pole on which to put an aerial.

Ghanaian chocolate is grim. I was told it was ok before I got it. Trust me, it’s not.

What is odd however, is that I realised I have missed the BBC World Service. The last time I listened to it was in 1994 when I lived abroad for a year. In geek speak, the BBC World Service ‘owns’.

It is also better than it was back then too. Saturday afternoon is a special treat when they join Radio 5 Live for football coverage. Cheers beeb. Mind you, I would still love to watch Match of the Day instead.

What’s interesting about the Internet, TV and Chocolate thing, is that if I had the Internet, I would be able to download TV but the food ads would be torture.

School finally starts tomorrow. I think I am prepared. We will see.

TUESDAY 9TH JANUARY 2006

In true Ghanaian style, school is going to start three days later than planned. Tomorrow I will mainly be sending text messages, along with looking for a TV, aerial and a six foot pole.

WIMAX

In searching for ways to get Internet access at the school I have come across various possibilities, most of which require a landline. The nearest available copper wire telephone line is 10km away, too far to be useful.

There is potential for GPRS through a company called Areeba, but they are an administrative nightmare to deal with. It transpires I need to make a six hour round trip to activate the service on my phone, not that I have a signal. I suppose I could climb up a tree with my laptop and see what happens.

Satellite is out of the question as it is too expensive and there is no Wireless service around here that I am aware of. I did recall reading about Wimax, a non ‘line-of-sight’ wireless technology but again, life without Google is a poor excuse for an existence! Wowzer, Tough City, Hardlifessville. If anybody knows anything about Wimax please get in touch. Thanks.

I discussed the possibility of selling local handicrafts via the Net with one of the staff today and he thought it was an amazing idea. Help! I need to be connected!

On a more positive note, I found out I can send emails via Text Message on my mobile phone. Unfortunately, I can’t receive replies and am limited to 160 characters. Still, it’s a step in the right direction.

I FOUND POTATOES….

Kind of. I am on a promise, a Ghanaian promise, that a lady at the market is going to have some Irish Potatoes on Sunday. Winner. If I had an oven I would roast them. As it is I think I will deep fry them! Cholestoraltastic!

FRIDAY 12TH JANUARY 2006

Well I finally did some work after all this time, two and a half days of it to be precise. I forgot just how tiring teaching is. Last time I stood in a classroom and taught was 1993. My students are hard work in some ways and easy in others. My lesson planning needs work, that’s for sure.

Having had the last five weeks doing pretty much bugger all I am now finding it harder to write these entries. I guess that’s because everything was difficult when I arrived. Living was hard and writing my thoughts down was a great way to take my mind off them.

I have got used to some of the difficulties and am now very busy. Going to the shite café, however shite, used to be a pleasure. Now I have work and washing and cleaning to do, in between work, rather than in between organising my mp3 collection. Not going to the shite web café, seems like a good way to save time whereas before, my efforts went on wasting time.

Sooner or later I will take a picture of my students so you can see them. They are very cool but need a lot of teaching to get them up to a decent standard of IT literacy. Wish me luck.

I’ll be back in a few weeks to let you know how it is going.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKK MALARIA UPDATE

So there I was lying in bed on the morning of Saturday 13th January 2007 planning my trip to the shite web café, when I felt a bit funny. I skipped breakfast (unusual) and set off.

I didn’t get too far when I felt a bit peaky. I came home and went back to bed. I stayed in bed for the next three days. I got up a few times during this time, but only to vomit or excrete something from the other end.

I felt cold, which was quite pleasant, but obviously wrong. Every time I stood up, the effort was enough to make me want to sit down again. So I just stayed there, snuggled up in bed, listening to audio books, quite enjoying myself really.

I did have a visit from all the staff and was given an injection in the arse, along with some drugs.

I had a fever, but not so bad. Every time I vomited, I instantly sweated about two litres of fluid, but then felt not so bad again.

Of course, Malaria is not always like this. It is really only due to the Larium, that my Malaria was such a cut down version. Even with Larium, most people have worse symptoms than me.

So yeah, I am hardcore, I had Malaria and recovered enough to write this on the third day (it is currently Monday 15th January). I only had one day off work. I haven’t eaten too much and my appetite hasn’t come back but I feel fine.

Malaria is known to recur and get worse and all sorts of other things, so I might need a blood test and such, but ultimately, I think this proves how incredibly mighty I am. The reality, of course, is that I am mighty enough to take Larium, most people chose a softer option.

My trip to the shite web café got delayed by a week. Maybe I will go next weekend, unless I am fighting off Ebola with a few aspirin, until which time…cya.